I learned a very important lesson as a young newlywed about turning towards my husband, although I will say it wasn’t done intentionally on my part. We had just been married a month when our new life together officially began with our first long distance move away from everyone we knew for Ben to start medical school in Glendale, Arizona. This was the furthest distance I had been away from my parents since graduating from high school and attending university that was only six hours away. We loaded all of our earthly possessions into the back of our half-sized ’88 Nissan truck that Ben drove, and I followed behind him in the ’96 Ford Taurus my parents had gifted to us for our wedding. The drive stretched over the course of 2 days to make it to our first small apartment in the heat of the desert, a total drive time of nearly 14 hours!
After we carried our belongings and wedding gifts up the three flights of stairs and dumped them into our apartment (which wasn’t an easy thing in the 99 degree heat) we were both red and sweating profusely. Ben found a box with that had cups, filled two of them to overflowing with the luke warm water from the tap, and we sat down together on a box we made into a couch to cool down. Later, we walked to our room and spread out our wedding gift sleeping bags on the floor (we didn’t even have a mattress to sleep on) and laughed. It finally hit us. After the rush of the wedding, honeymoon, and carefree summer—this was OUR beginning.
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| It felt like our new life went from this... |
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| ... to THIS! (LITERALLY) |
Over the next few weeks of job searching and moving again, the stresses of school and real married life started to sink in. Looking back I can laugh, but I have to admit this was a transitional point for us. Of course we were happy together, but there were typical misunderstandings and conflicts that started with the two us trying to learn to become a new family. We were alone, separated from our previously support system of parents and siblings, but we had each other. Having the distance between us and our parents allowed us to truly lean on and support one another, to turn towards each other to discuss problems and work through them together. Even though that first year of medical school and being married wasn’t an easy one (or four), it was an important time for both of us to learn how to be together. I can also see how that time was especially important for us in growing stronger together, which has allowed us to be strong over time regardless of the distance between us and our extended family.
I read this week that “There is a deep connection between the hard things of life and the best things of life” (Covenant Hearts, p.66). I can absolutely say that our “hard” and difficult times allowed my husband and I to pull together, lean on one another, and help each other through. I know that I can always rely on him because of what we have been through
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