Intimacy in Marriage

As a young mother with little children, the world is a wonderful and curious ball of questions just waiting to be asked. “Why is the sky blue?” and “where does snow come from?” and “how do you spell hippopotamus?” Many of the questions stem from observations and the desire my children have to understand more about the world that they are surrounded by. I am grateful for these little chances to explain and teach my children about the world, weather, and animal spelling—it’s fun (most of the time) and if I don’t know the correct answer, we find out together. As my children learn more, they are growing and maturing intellectually in their understanding of their surroundings. Talking about the world is easy, but it feels trickier when talking about more sensitive subjects like sexuality. What do you say when a child asks “How did a baby get in your tummy?”

Answers to these types of innocent question needs to be geared toward the child who asked it. It is important to speak clearly and honestly, which is difficult for most people. Having the “sex talk” can feel awkward and uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be that way. One of my favorite sources that I have read to our kids is called “In the beginning…” and it answers these types of questions about marital intimacy and human development in a simple and biblical way. It introduces this topic by talking about Heavenly Father’s plan when God created Adam and Eve to be together.

Elder Richard G. Scott provides wonderful insight concerning this topic as well. He said “Fundamental to the great plan of happiness and central to the teachings of the Savior is the family. A new family begins when a man and woman make sacred marriage vows and are legally bound together to become husband and wife, father and mother. The perfect beginning is through sealing in the temple. With marriage they commit the best of themselves to be absolutely loyal to each other and to invite children to be nurtured and taught….Within the enduring covenant of marriage, the Lord permits husband and wife the expression of the sacred procreative powers in all their loveliness and beauty within the bounds He has set.  One purpose of this private, sacred, intimate experience is to provide the physical bodies for the spirits Father in Heaven wants to experience mortality. Another reason for these powerful and beautiful feelings of love is to bind husband and wife together in loyalty, fidelity, consideration of each other, and common purpose” (Making the Right Choices, 1994).

Marital intimacy is wonderful and beautiful and talking to our children about it is important. Because it is a sensitive and sacred subject, many parents and married adults have a hard time knowing how and what to say. Helping children to understand that intimacy is not only a good thing, but vital and wonderful part of marriage can help them to understand and have healthy intimate relations when they are adults.